Learn How to Barf Officially!
April Fool’s day is fast approaching. If you’re one of those who purchases gag gifts for April Fool’s Day, might I suggest THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK. Quite frankly, it was all I could do not to gag just going though it…and I WROTE IT!
Well, not exactly. THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK is Craig Yoe’s follow-up to his astonishingly successful OFFICIAL FART BOOK of a couple years back. This time, Craig recruited a bunch of folks to help put it together. I’m credited in a dozen chapters and contributed to a couple more. Also involved were my lovely wife Rene, longtime Net friend Lisa Mynx, former DC writer/editor Jack C. Harris, illustrators Vince Musacchia and Greg Oakes, fellow I.T.C.H. member David B. and a host of others.
Greg Oakes did the art for my biggest contribution, ROCK AND ROLL HEAVIN’, an irreverent section on rock stars who…well…choked to death on vomit. See below for a sample.
From the publisher:
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A clever, insightful, and GROSS compendium of everything from sayings about barf- historical anecdotes, and cartoons to rancid rhymes, factoids, great moments in barf culture, up-chuckles, and buckets more! Whether you’re spewing to Ralph on the porcelain telephone or waiting for relief from a stomach tsunami, this book makes for an awesome gag gift. Random Moments: Vomit walks into the bar, crying. The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?” Vomit says, “Sorry to be so sentimental, but this is where I was brought up.” A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can’t hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy’s chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. “So,” says the little guy, “are you feeling better now?” Barf Trivia: There’s no such thing as Rat Puke! Rats can’t vomit.
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All in all, THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK is a surprisingly educational book filled with historical tidbits and trivia, but also with enough gross limericks, cartoons and illustrations to turn even the strongest stomachs. I dare you to try reading it without at least coming close to adding your own chapter. “Urp!”
Did I mention it comes with free plastic throw-up attached to the cover? Talk about a major selling point! Oh and if you think THIS one was bad, wait until you see what next year’s follow-up is going to be!
Here, however, we see the opening pages of several sections in this disgusting-but hilarious and educational!- book that were written by yours truly.
Some marvelous illustrations in the rock section, all by Greg Oakes, with whom I have since become friends online!
This section below was probably the hardest to write as I had to watch a LOT of applicable scenes from various films to determine the most…the best…the…well…Yuck!
THE OFFICIAL BARF BOOK really is the perfect April Fool’s Day gift. And it’s cheap, too! Still time to get it by April 1st if you order today!
— booksteve
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