D. J. David B. Spins Comics-Tunes: Man of Steel Spoilers!
I finally saw it! I’ve been mentioning Man of Steel in this blog for weeks, but now I can write from personal experience. Yes, I plunked down my 15 bucks to see the movie in real 3D! *SPOILER ALERT: Warning, there be spoilers ahead.* Well, we certainly know a lot more about Superman now, thanks to this new movie. For one thing, he’s an alien! Yep, he’s actually from another planet with technology so advanced they have spaceships and test-tube babies though they still haven’t invented shaving. It turns out, Superman left the planet Krypton (coincidently the same name as one of the noble gases) and came to Earth in a rusted, blobular space capsule only to live on a farm. Oh! And Superman’s real name isn’t Clark Kent. It’s actually Kal-El. Who knew? Once on Earth, Kal finds out he has super powers so he must put on a cape. Wow! Another shocker. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
*MORE SPOILERS AHEAD* This version of Superman is so shockingly new it takes a while to adjust. For instance, in Man of Steel that plucky, intrepid reporter Lois Lane has RED hair, while Smallville’s Lana Lang is a brunette. Take THAT, 75 years of continuity! This time out Superman doesn’t wear silly red bathing trunks. He’s dressed like a ballet dancer in blue tights, which is more heroic. In this version there is no Jimmy Olsen to get in the way, or to turn into Turtle Boy. But we do get to see perennial Peeping Tom Pete Ross. It’s revealed that Pete the Peeper grew up to manage an International House of Pancakes franchise. I certainly didn’t see that coming!
*CAREFUL, STILL MORE SPOILERS* The plot of the film is pretty much the same as Superman (1978) starring Christopher Reeve. Old weird-beard General Zod was born and bred to defend and protect the planet Krypton and its people. When everyone else from Krypton is killed, naturally General Zod has to kill Kal-El, since he is the only other survivor. This makes as much sense as a screen door on a submarine but that’s just how they roll on Krypton. They are aliens after all! Even though they look exactly like white people in every way and speak English, they are strangely different. Even their alphabet is unlike ours! How messed up is that?
*WHAT? MORE SPOILERS?* The movie clarifies another thing about the Man of Steel that has been speculated about for years: the Bible connection. You can forget about those rumors of religious allegory, comparing Kal-El to Jesus or Moses. For one thing, we find out that Kal-El isn’t circumcised, therefore he can’t be Jewish. Also, he’s not like Jesus because wasn’t born from a virgin. Quite the opposite! Everyone else on Krypton has a virgin birth EXCEPT little Kal. He’s the first one in hundreds of years to be born the old-fashioned way, with lot of huffing and puffing and gnashing of teeth. If this is religious allegory they’ll have to write a Third Testament because the Old and the New simply don’t apply.
To celebrate this unnecessary re-imagining of the most famous character in popular culture since 1938, we’re presenting another piece of completely unrelated music.
Click the link below and enjoy!
— DJ David B.
Zod knows that the codex, a maguffin of a plot device that will give rise to a new race of Kryptonians, was hidden with baby Kal’s spaceship thirty-three years ago. Zod isn’t really looking for revenge so much as he’s desperately SEEKING to resurrect his long lost people. So Zod comes to Earth, first SEEKING Kal because he thinks Kal will give him the codex. Then he goes on a mission SEEKING the codex itself. While Kal and Lois are on board Zod’s ship, Jor-El’s ghost helps Lois escape and then manipulates the environmentals on the ship so that Kal has power but the other Kryptonians don’t. Jor-El tells Lois how to defeat Zod and then he gives one last bit of encouragement to his son, telling him that not only can he save Lois but he can save all mankind.