When it comes to secret agents, there are none with as many secrets as Agent Coulson, the star of ABC’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. For everything we know about this cool-under-pressure head of our favorite S.H.I.E.L.D. team, there are five things we don’t know!

Was he really dead? Did he actually recuperate in Tahiti? Is he an android or an LMD? (That’s Life Model Decoy for those of you who haven’t been paying attention.) Where does he get his hair cut? Does he wear his Bluetooth in his right ear or his left? So many questions, so few answers.

But tonight we find out the senses-shattering answers to these cataclysmic questions! This is The Big One!! You dare not miss it!!! The Earth-shaking answers will be revealed!!!! (I have to stop writing like Stan Lee now, I have run out of exclamation points.)

So tune in at 8:00 pm tonight to find out what really happened in Tahiti and whether Agent Coulson is really some kind of crazy Six-Million Dollar Man. (That’s a $40 Million Dollar Man, if we adjust for inflation.)

Meanwhile, click the link below and listen to a song all about Agent Coulson.

Super to Me (Agent Coulson) - The Doubleclicks