We have a winner! The debate in the blogosphere about whether it’s Man of Steel or The Lone Ranger that does a better job of trashing childhood memories and destroying beloved characters has finally been decided. While it’s true, Man of Steel was a dark story with a cynical point of view, twisting the original super-hero into a murderous thug, perverting the meaning of hero, and delighting in the wanton destruction of a city, at least it was a well-made film. The Lone Ranger, on the other hand, seems to have no socially-redeeming qualities at all (as they used to say about pornography). Although I, DJ David B., have not seen the new movie, I’ve read enough reviews to know it’s not for me. This isn’t a case of critics saying “I give it one star” or even “I want those 149 minutes of my life back.” Some of the people who’ve endured it come out of the theater feeling suicidal. It’s a film that doesn’t just put an ugly twist on a classic character. It sets out to ruin everything we believe in about goodness and decency and justice. At least that’s what I’ve heard. What’s more interesting is why.

I blame both Hollywood and the times in which we live.

We’re living in a cold, scary, cynical world. Films are a reflection of our feelings and beliefs. You can’t ask a contemporary audience to accept that a man wears a powder blue jumpsuit and a mask, riding around meting out justice for no reward, just because it’s the right thing to do. Poppycock! (Pardon my French.) Audiences just won’t buy that kind of pure hero. Because they don’t understand the motivation. They will buy the idea of cannibalism, though. That they understand. “Hey, the guy was hungry. So he ate a man’s heart, big deal.” It makes me sick to think that humanity has been reduced to this.

The only thing worse than the state of humankind in 2013 is the current culture of Hollywood. Whatever cynicism and corruption exists in America, Hollywood reflects it bigger and bolder and more twisted, like a giant funhouse mirror of society. Hollywood doesn’t do anything small. If America is sick, movies have to be sicker! Give the people what they want!

The makers of The Lone Ranger deserve plenty of blame themselves. It’s the way the Hollywood system works. If you can’t create – destroy! If you don’t have a new idea, take an old idea and tear it apart. If you can’t come up with a new character, sully an existing character so it ruins everyone else’s good time. The only good news to come out of this adaptation of the Lone Ranger is that there won’t be a sequel. One figure I heard was $19 million in box office for a picture that cost $225 million to make. Maybe this catastrophic loss will make Disney reconsider before they destroy another character from my childhood. Let’s hope. (Or as Man of Steel would say, “Let’s S.”)

The better news is that they can’t destroy The Lone Ranger. Ha! Nice try, Hollywood. The Lone Ranger is bigger than that. You can make a dirty, ugly movie but you can’t kill a symbol of law and order that’s been entertaining kids on the radio, in movies, on TV and yes (you knew it was coming) in comic books for 80 years – even before Superman. Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear and relive the excitement. Cue the William Tell Overture. Hi-yo Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again!

Click the link below and feel the joy.

The Lone Ranger